Do you need a bestie at work to feel like you belong?
It’s a question I never really asked myself, until recently.
These days, you hear it more often. Work besties. That one person who becomes your default human in the office. Your permanent lunch buddy. Your go-to rant partner. The one you text during meetings like, “Are you seeing this?” The one who understands your silence, your side-eyes, your half-typed messages.
And I find myself thinking… have I ever had one?
I don’t think so.
I’ve been working long enough to say this… I started when the year still had 19 in front of it. Yes, I know. Dinosaur much?
Over the years, I’ve met amazing people. Built friendships. Shared laughs over kopi. Survived deadlines that felt impossible. I’m friendly with most people in the office. I can walk into a room and find someone to talk to.
But a work bestie?
That one person who is your person? I don’t think I’ve ever had that.
And then the questions start creeping in.
What does that say about me?
Am I too garang to be someone’s bestie?
Is it my position, my role, that invisible line that makes people keep a safe distance?
Or is it me… not opening up enough?
Should this have bothered me all these years?
Because when you look around now, it almost feels like having a work bestie is part of the experience. Especially with the younger generation. They connect fast. They lunch together, travel together, post together. Work and life seem to blend so naturally for them.
So is this a generational thing? Or has it always existed, just without a label?
Maybe back then, we just didn’t call it anything.
Let’s be honest though… having a work bestie does sound nice.
Someone to sit with during lunch so you’re not scrolling your phone alone.
Someone to vent to when things get frustrating.
Someone to laugh with about the little absurdities of corporate life.
In a world filled with KPIs, deadlines, and endless meetings, that kind of connection probably makes everything feel a little lighter. A little more human.
But work relationships are… complicated.
We work as a team, yes. We support each other, collaborate, deliver together. But underneath it all, there’s also that quiet layer of competitiveness. The part where we are measured, evaluated, compared.
And that changes things.
Because can a relationship in that kind of environment ever be as raw, as honest, as the friendships we built in school? The ones without performance ratings, hierarchy, or unspoken comparisons?
Or is a work bestie something slightly different; a connection we hold on to, not just because it’s deep, but because it helps us get through the day?
So maybe the real question isn’t whether having a work bestie is important.
Maybe it’s this: what kind of connection are we actually looking for at work?
For some, it’s that one person. Their safe space.
For others, it’s a small circle.
And for some of us, maybe it’s simply being able to get along with everyone, without needing to label anyone as “the one.”
I still don’t know if not having a work bestie says something about me. Maybe it does. Maybe it doesn’t.
But I do know this.. I’ve had meaningful conversations, shared quiet support, and built connections that may not come with a title, but still mattered.
And maybe that’s enough.
Because at the end of the day, whether you have a work bestie or not, we’re all just trying to get through the day, doing our jobs, navigating people, and finding small pockets of comfort wherever we can.
And if that comfort comes in the form of one person, a few people, or just yourself…
Maybe that’s okay too.
Written by A.
Balancing duty in public service and care at home, she writes from the heart of both worlds.